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Tonight one of my coworkers was on a rant about how this girl she hates is a “dirty, skanky smidget” then she looked at me and said “no offense”.


um

oh

My mom and I do this really cute thing where when she’s in a talkative mood I wanna be left alone and when I’m in a talkative mood she wants to be left alone and it’s a struggle.

i want to be slutty but only with one person u feel me

foodtrucker:

please don’t flirt with people i secretly like it’s rude and disrespectful

Michael, you make me really uncomfortable with your words sometimes.

Why is it our instinct to open our mouths when we’re shocked or surprised?
Humans are weird.

thrvstinq:

I wanna make you laugh hard, but I wanna make you cum harder